MACY IS A ZOMBIE.
That's right. You read it correctly. She called me from WWU today to break it to me before the virus had completely taken over her brain. (Quite thoughtful of her, really. She's such a good and clever girl!)
It seems that the WWU campus was besieged by 15 zombies at an unknown time on this very day. No one knows from whence they came, nor when they arrived exactly, but come they did and within 4 short hours they had added to their numbers profoundly by infecting 98 more souls with their lethal, nay, epically trans-tastic virus.
The great academic minds of WWU quickly learned that balled up socks hurled with great force at these zombies will stun them for 10 minutes, allowing the humans enough time to run screaming and flailing across campus to the safety of any building. (Apparently zombies can't figure out how to open doors. How convenient is that?!) Unfortunately, Macy was too busy running for dear life and forgot to throw her socks today. The zombie in Macy's pursuit was even gracious enough to remind her of this fact .... but let's face it. Macy's always wanted to be a zombie. We think she allowed herself to be caught. We can all attest to the fact that she's been randomly biting people for kicks and giggles since she was in Jr. High. It's her destiny. We're okay with that.
Authorities at WWU have announced that this zombie siege will go on for exactly 7 more days. It is at this time that they are sure a cure shall be had. (Meanwhile, Kohl's is running out of socks as I type this. Forget water; add socks to your survival kits!!!)
Least you fear that chaos is reigning supreme and unchecked on Western's college, fear not. There are rules:
- No wheels. Zombies must run. No bikes or skate boards allowed.
- All buildings are safe havens for humans. This is non-negotiable.
- Socks will stun zombies for 10 minutes, but they don't recommend you take your chances with nylons. Even zombies hate nylons and they will only anger them.
- Aaaaaaaaaaand .... that's it for the rules.
Here are some really coolio pictures of Macy during her zombie transformation .... they're quite fascinating!
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| Macy's a bit concerned here .... |
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| Oh dear .... something is happening! |
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| Ah, yes. This is about the time she told me that her roommate Walker sounded delicious ... |
And here's Macy post transformation (I have got to get her in for a haircut during Thanksgiving break. Someone remind me ...)
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| I can totally see how socks would put a stop to this. Genius! |
There will not be a funeral for Macy because, well, no one can figure out how to keep a zombie in a grave . SO FRUSTRATING!!!! *sigh* Maybe a party instead??? A sock party!!! That's brilliant!
*** Details TBA ***
